Mother's Day 2016

Thoughtlessness

Typically thoughtlessness is considered closely related to inconsideration, isn't it?  Well I decided to do an entry without thought or without planned thought.  I think that I have mentioned before that I write on 750words.com yet I haven't been very consistent.  I love consistency, I dream about it I long for it, I envy it in others.  I myself, on the other hand am not very consistent. I suppose it boils down to habits.  You do what you want and leave out what you don't.  Even if those things you don't want to do are things that you really want to do!

Possibly it's just a fantasy that you'd like to do certain things to enrich your life or the like.  But if you really wanted to do them, you would....wouldn't you?

I long for consistency in my life, let's take for example exercise.  I would love to be consistent at exercise everyday, but that is not what takes place in my life.  The only way I am consistent with something such as exercise is if I am accountable to someone or an appointed time to meet someone to exercise.  Then I am very consistent.  What is the psychology behind being accountable to someone else but not myself?  Does it boil down to self worth?  Do I not value myself enough to have worth to be accountable to myself? Or do I really deep down not want to exercise?

There is a litany of things that I do this with in my life. But the list cannot be all that bad because I do have a job, family, obligations, bills that I am consistent with....but that could be because others are counting on me to be accountable.  Hmmm, there again, it is with things that have to do with myself personally that I am inconsistent with, that is interesting.

I must say before I go on, 'thank you" for reading this post of pure pontification. 

I believe that creativity must have a small thing to do with inconsistency.  There is a measure of dullness with consistency I have noticed.  When a person is creative, there are major inconsistencies possibly due to distracted thought.  I should probably consider researching if there is a book out there that specifically measures the differences in highly creative people and highly consistent people.  My father and I are one of each.  He is highly consistent, like award winning consistent.  I always wanted to be like him, I still do!  However I don't know how I can be a creative and be consistent. 

I have learned a couple things in this mid-life era of my life and that is, slow down.  Slow the heck down.  I cannot whip through all the things I want to do or accomplish or learn as fast as I thought I could and it just frustrates me, so I have learned to slow down.  I am starting to look at my life in terms of the years overall that I have left.  I would say approximately 40 years left if I live that long.  Or if the Lord doesn't come back between now and then.  So 40 years, what could I plan or learn in 40 years?  Tons!! 

So relax and enjoy and take the days one at a time, that is what I am always telling myself.  So many things I want to do and learn, yet I will experience a greater measure of fulfilment if I do slow down and stop thinking of life as if it's ending tomorrow, yes we are not promised tomorrow but I don't want to have anxiety today due to racing through life.

So as for consistency I have 22 days straight of writing 750 words thus far and I plan to go for 100.  I almost made it to 100 back in 2011, I failed on day 97.  The website is pretty neat-o because they award your account with badges if you write consistently.  I have a few badges and the longest writing streak badge that I have is 30 days.  The next badge is 100 days, it's the "Phoenix" badge 100 days of writing....consistently!  But then I would like to get all the badges, I think they go up to 1000 days, I'll have to check again.

I wonder what writing really does for a person? Getting all the words out.  I know that I have heard of articles written where writing does something for the emotional well being of a person.  I will continue and find out.

On another note, what about reading fiction?  Does that really do anything for a person?  I asked a couple of "readers" and I wasn't really satisfied with their answers, no definitive responses just "it brings me pleasure, or makes me happy or I like it".  I want the scientific, or psychological answer I suppose.  Maybe I'll have to look that up too, until then  Goodnight, thanks for reading, whoever you may be :)

Missing you

Hello!

Good Tuesday to you!  It’s a beautiful spring day today here in Las Vegas, NV! (actually this photo isn't in Vegas, but It's Meredith here writing to you! haha)

I used to hate the desert, even though I am a native to it.  I fell in love with the desert when I went to Hawaii last year, I was eaten alive by mosquitoes and couldn’t really breathe due to the humidity. 

(my son took that photo from our condo in Kauai, how could I prefer desert over that? lol)

I never in my dreams would think that I would fall in love with the desert.  However, I know the desert, it’s familiar and I know how to stay cool, how to plant greenery etc.  I believe any place can be a lovely abode with the right set of eyes to look through.

Filter…you see as I write this blog, the word filter is always on my mind.  I understand there is an element of wisdom with using filter to some extent, otherwise why wouldn’t I write anonymously? Oh geez, I’m listening to Frank Sinatra radio on Pandora and the horns are a little too much, whew! That song is over…

I can be random and for sure be unrefined and raw, especially in writing. I mean who cares?  I’m not getting published, nor getting a grade or critique.

I would love a comment though…does anyone ever welcome a comment?  Negativity is something that takes courage to face, but what if my outlook is hopeful of a positive comment?

Now I am boring myself.  

I would like my writing to uplift people in some way.  How exactly is that done?  Just be myself? Am I uplifting in and of myself?  I would say Christ in me is, for sure.  He is the most inspiring encouraging person I know.  And he’s absolutely fascinating!  I get to know this!  I have had him in my life most of my life and never knew these things.

I would like to be the kind of person that is missed, when removed from people’s lives.  There are people I miss greatly that are no longer in my life.  I have always heard of other people say that, “not a day goes by where I don’t think of _______” whomever it may be.  I also would like to add, “not a day goes by where I don’t pray for _____”  Unless of course the person has died already, then I would be hopeful to meet again in heaven.  

Did you know pets are in heaven?  Now I sound like a 7 year old haha…but honestly, I believe that.  It’s not something to make me feel better.  I was perfectly fine before I knew this. 

Part of me can be quite calloused about death. I used to be fine letting go of pets or people etc.  But now that I know pets are in heaven, all the better!  I wonder why people have a harder time handling loss or letting go than others?  My question is, why do I miss some people and not others?  It doesn’t make sense to me.  I wish I had answers in this realm, to know why I miss some more than others.  Maybe I’ll ask God, I should ask him.  I’ll let you know what he tells me, when he decides to reveal that information.

For now I must go, this is me, in the raw..no editing no filtering, well maybe a tiny bit…but I am progressing with courage to move forward with this.  I make no apology for who I am today, for I may be a little different tomorrow.

Have a glorious day friends!

Introvert

Blogging isn't necessarily easy.

I find it easy to write everyday on a website called "750words" which I love, due to the fact that it is private.  It's the public factor that makes it so difficult to stay consistent from day to day.  

I once heard someone say that introverts are bored with everyday talk because they are more intimate people in nature and love to discuss the deeper things.  I have discover in the last year that I am more of an introvert. Many would argue that point, namely my family.  They would argue, "but Meredith, you're outgoing and loud and love to be seen etc etc...."  Upon learning more about what introverts are truly like, I identified more and more.  For instance, if you ask yourself the question, "where are you refreshed, or rejuvenated most? Is it when you are with people or by yourself?"  

I know people who gain more energy being around others and walk away "full".  However I walk away "full" after having been by myself.  Could we call this a true introvert trait?  Or is it a trait on a whole other realm besides introversion and extroversion? 

I am so curious about way too many things, or can there be too many?  It's a time thing, curiosity begs the question why? Which begs the question well...let's find out why?

I talked with a friend recently who started a recipie, kind of domestic blog and she was struggling with entries on her blog in conjunction with it being public.  I stated to her, just be you and don't worry about filter, people will love you for who you are.

What a ridiculous piece of advice, when I cannot even come to terms with that very issue myself.  I am a brave person, so I think and I would like to attempt to speak, write, post, blog without a filter, editing, etc.  So with that being said, this has been my first step.

Thanks for reading,

Meredith :)

Birthdays

Birthdays, everyone has them.  But we didn't all come by them the same.  Yes technically there are different stories of birth and the like, however I am speaking of our individual histories of birthdays, our own personal experience.

What was your tradition or lack thereof?  Everyone has a built in sense of what a birthday should be like, feel like.  It can be changed later in life, gleaning a different perspective from a spouse or friends.

How were birthdays celebrated for you?  

 

Did your family do something when you woke up?  Were you greeted in the morning with a "Happy Birthday!" or was it saved for later in the evening? Did you get the luxury of having it celebrated all week?  Or did everyone forget all together? 

 

We put-out whatever was put-in initially. 

 

The tradition "put" in me was a greeting right when I woke up.  My mother or father, or even my sisters would say "Good Morning birthday girl!"  in a singing sort of way...you know how that goes, drawn out and sweet.  Sometimes there would be a glitter worded sign or a balloon or two in my room when I woke up.  Never the less it was always first thing in the morning an acknowledgement of my special day.

 

There were years that we had birthday parties, surprise parties, or maybe just dinner with a home made cake.  My experience with birthdays is that they were always special.  There is a down side to birthdays as well.  As children, I believe we can be extra sensitive to things that go wrong on our birthday. 

 

My 13th birthday was a real disappointment, not because my family forgot but because everyone who was invited to my birthday party decided not to attend.  It was supposed to be a surprise.  I was with my best friend Lisa at her house. She and I were going to Circus Circus to celebrate my birthday, a casino here in Vegas that had games for all ages,  but we needed to stop by my house for some "reason or another". My immediate family members greeted us with "surprise!".....Surprise?  Just my family?  My mother had to pull me aside and explain that she had invited my classmates and that not a one of them had showed up.  I felt a bit betrayed to say the least, but we made the best of it, my first-best-friend Lisa and I.

 

As we get older, time becomes scarcer and birthdays sometimes end up just being another day.  Some people don't feel comfortable making a fuss all for themselves and yet others demand it, shout it out from the rooftops!

 

This year I tried something different, I decided to take the day off and be alone on my birthday. I enjoy being alone at home, piddling around in my PJ's leisurely enjoying a cup of coffee.  The weather was perfect and the day went by much too fast and my expectations to accomplish all the things I enjoy doing were of course astronomically high as usual. 

 

The reality of birthdays is that they are special, they should be special.  Many lives would be different if you or I were never born.  I believe we underestimate our impact to our little spherical worlds. 

 

Maybe if we were to make a list of people that we know or have known throughout our lives...wow! now that's a task!  That list would be simple and easy if you're 5 years old! But to make a list at the ages of 20, 30, 40, 50 and so on, it would be long!  I dare you to try and write down all the people who have been in your life, family, friend, acquaintance, classmate, co-worker, service worker, stranger whoever it might be...how long would your list be?

 

It would be long...I know it would be!

 

Because most of us don't live on an island to ourselves, no we make an impact on people near and far much more than we will ever know.

 

My point is, your birthday is a day you should treasure, make a fuss over, make plans and make it special, even if you're the one who has to do it.  Because you deserve to be celebrated EACH and EVERY year.

 

Happy Birthday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

to DO or to BE?

Far be it from me to understand people.  Too too many people in this world and too many different types.  

However, similarities true.  I recently saw the movie "Divergent". Interesting how people were grouped into different types, to maintain control and order.

I am a creative type.  I am also sensitive with a bit of wisdom.  That word wisdom has been bestowed upon me, I did not pick it up and attach it to myself.  

Lately I have been thinking about what people do with their free time.  Most people long for it, and greater still, many people have not a clue what to do with it. I refuse to adhere or succumb to either.

Being a creative, my list of things to do is endless.  I fantasize about having nothing but a life of free time, 24/7 which would require a benefactor obviously.  Humorous fantasy to most, I suppose.

I really try to relate to those who are clueless as to what to do with an open Saturday afternoon, or Tuesday evening per se. I wonder if the world no longer had television what would happen to all the minds out there that were laden with the constant search for things to do to fill their free time, things to do to fill their ....life?

Sometimes I envy that position of an honest search for something to do.  Those people usually participate in things that I would never consider, but should.  After all I have my own bucket full of ideas to sort through.

Maybe those people need a list of possibilities or options.  Maybe I could make them one, or sell one haha!

And what about these people who say they have no free time?  I was one of those people, but thankfully no longer.  Time is precious and with the constant noise and duty and obligation and "yes-ing" this and "sure-I-will" that...who ARE we anymore?

Are we not human "beings"? or human "doings"? Or quite possibly a little bit of both if we have the presence of mind to balance ourselves.

I am starting to come to the conclusion that through "being" which is, allowing ourselves to have free time to stop and think and God forbid...just Stare! Yes, I said it...to do nothing, just sit and stare and think.  Maybe you'd fall asleep...well so be it, you probably needed the rest anyway.  

I honestly have come to the place where I think in order to "do", and do well, we must allow ourselves time to "be".  Just be.

What say you?

151 years ago today.

Today's blog is going to be taken from the Library of Congress
Appendix number 19, Volume 12
of the United States at Large

By The President of The United States of America:

A Proclamation

For a Day of National Humiliation

Fasting and Prayer

Whereas, the Senate of the United States, devoutly recognizing the Supreme Authority and Just Government of the Almighty God, in all the affairs of men and of nations, has, by a resolution, requested the President to designate and set apart a day for National prayer and humiliation:

And whereas, it is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions, in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord:

And, insomuch as we know that, by His divine law, nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of the civil war, which now desolates the land, may be but a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole People?  We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven.  We have been preserved these many years, in peace and prosperity.  We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown.  But we have forgotten God.  We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.  Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!  It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.

Now, therefore, in compliance with the request, and fully concurring in the views of the Senate, I do, by this my proclamation, designate and set apart Thursday, the 30th day of April, 1863, as a day of national humiliation, fasting, and prayer.  And I do hereby request all the People to abstain on that day from their ordinary secular pursuits, and to unite, at their several places of public worship and their respective homes, in keeping the day holy to the Lord, and devoted to the humble discharge of the religious duties proper to that solemn occasion.

All this being done, in sincerity and truth, let us then rest humbly in the hope authorized by the Divine teachings, that the united cry of the Nation will be heard on high, and answered with blessings, no less than the pardon of our national sins, and restoration of our now divided and suffering country, to its former happy condition of unity and peace.

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the city of Washington this thirtieth day of March, 

in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, 

and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-seventh.

-Abraham Lincoln

By the President:

WILLIAM H. STEWARD, Secretary of State


( I did type this out and I'm not a great editor so please point out any mis-strikes...thanks!)